Have you ever had a big, beautifully wrapped box under the Christmas tree with your name on it? With a big, pretty bow, and gorgeous wrapping paper? Then comes Christmas morning. You go straight for this gift. Slowly, you revel in taking off the wrapping. Carefully you open up the box, look inside, and find...

     A coat. A plain winter coat. Or a sweater. Knitted by Aunt Martha. Or maybe a World Book Encyclopedia. Well, that's about how my life was a few months ago. Wrapped up in shiny paper in a huge box. Except instead of finding a coat, or sweater, or an encyclopedia, you'd probably find a big pile of dog shit.

     You see, everyone thought my life was perfect. At least those who didn't know me personnally. Two months ago I lived with my father, stepmother, and five siblings in Green, Ohio. I was a Freshman in High School, got straight A's, was Second Chair trumpet in the band, got along with all my teachers, and wasn't fat. Not a bad combination from the outside. I had a few friends and lived in a semi-nice house. We weren't rich, but we weren't exactly poverty level either. Most people wouldn't have thought it would be too bad to be me. They were wrong.

     When I was about elven years old, my parents got a divorce. At first it wasn't so bad, my mom was happier, and they were getting along. Then my dad met Kathy, my would-be stepmom, in an online Christian chat room. The worst thing my Dad could have done was marry her. And that's exactly what he did. Kathy was an expert in manipulating. She played ming games, kissed ass, verbally confused people, abusively controlled our lives, and was all-in-all, a bitch. During the four year that my dad was married to her, our live were a living hell. She was verbally, mentally, emotionally, psycologically, and eventually physically, abusive. On top of that, she was a control Nazi. THere are too many incidents to go into details, so I'll give an example. On one occasion, she took away my sketch book and grounded me because I took my sketch book to school. Apparantly I knew I wasn't supposed to take this kind of thing to school. How silly of me! (To this day, I still don't have it, and probably never will.)

     Well, April 3, 2004, my brother, sister, and I flew down to Oklahoma to visit my mom for Spring Break. One night during the visit, we all broke down and told her what had been going on. Incidents such as me being pushed down the stairs and pulled off the couch by my feet, a comb being thrown at my brother's head leaving a scar, and my sister being hit over the head repeatedly with spoons, bowls, or other inanimate objects. My mom was shocked and furious. My father was called and informed that we were NOT getting on THAT plane back to THAT woman. He quickly realized how blid to all of this he had been and promptly left Kathy. We are now living with our mom in Oklahoma and finally have had a chance to breath, relax, and live.

     In the past months I've had the ability to be myself in my religeous beliefs, personnality, and style. I've made friends who I enjoy being with, and have a boyfriend who loves me for who I am and I vise versa. My life is still a long shot from perfect, but I would say it has improved considerably.

Peace.

Laurl/en

(Copied from another journal of mine on LPC.)